Pushkin III (aka "We're not finished yet!")

[alexpgp]

In a comment to yesterday's second post on the Pushkin poem, LJ friend svenska noted that there are "very many (even too many) 'poetic' words" in the original text. He then goes on to list a number of them, pointing out words that, as a native Russian speaker, are unfamiliar to him and even noting what appears to be an error in grammar (the genetive form of смысл in the last line ought to be in the accusative), which I suspect may be one of those convenient lapses that poets allow themselves for the sake of their art, though svenska makes an interesting argument to the effect that such lapses are generally employed in the company of close friends, which gives the poem a feeling of frankness where the listener can feel as if he is in the poet's "inner circle."

The argument is interesting. Most of the words svenska noted were, indeed, new to me, but that's no mean feat. As someone who has spent a couple of decades assimilating the technical side of the language, I sometimes still find myself adrift when the conversation turns away from technical subjects. (Indeed, it is one of the reasons that I undertake such "literary" translations from time to time... the exercise exposes me to new expressions and forces me to learn.)

But I wonder... are the words "poetic" because we find them in poems of the period, or are they simply words that have fallen out of use, yet which were once fairly common (at least among educated persons) and thus, could be expected to be used in literature, including poetry?

Here's an example. The poem Ulysses, published by Alfred Lord Tennyson in 1842, ends with the following lines:

Push off, and sitting well in order smite
The sounding furrows; for my purpose holds
To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths
Of all the western stars, until I die.
It may be that the gulfs will wash us down:
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew.
Tho' much is taken, much abides; and tho'
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven: that which we are, we are:
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

There are a number of words here that might be considered "poetic," in the sense that they have meanings that are peculiar to our 21-st century sensibilities. "Smite" is a word some of us might associate with Bible stories (I dare say it's not used regularly in newspapers). "My purpose holds..." is a strange way of saying "I intend to... ." And an "equal temper" is hard to reconcile with the concept we commonly want to communicate when we use the word "temper." So the key question is: How peculiar would these expressions have sounded to a contemporary of Tennyson's?

I would guess the answer would be: Not very peculiar at all.

Indeed, as I noted in my answer to svenska, we are not talking about an either/or proposition, here. Some words may, without doubt, have only been used in poetry, but the use of some others would doubtless have not even been noticed, the way we do not pay much attention to the word "fellow" in the Presidential "My fellow Americans."

In closing, svenska notes that, as a native Russian speaker, it is difficult for him to assess my translation. Of course, his grading criteria are quite rigorous: for example, does the translation employ poetic language or neologisms? does it "play" with grammar?

I can't tell; I merely composed what felt "right" at the time. My conscious goals were to match the meaning, meter, and rhyme scheme. I shall let the piece sit for a couple of days and revisit it; sooner if the itch manifests itself.

Cheers...

P.S. I also like the beginning of Ulysses, which runs as follows:

It little profits that an idle king,
By this still hearth, among these barren crags,
Match'd with an aged wife, I mete and dole
Unequal laws unto a savage race,
That hoard, and sleep, and feed, and know not me.
I cannot rest from travel: I will drink
Life to the lees: all times I have enjoy'd
Greatly, have suffer'd greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone: on shore, and when
Thro' scudding drifts the rainy Hyades
Vext the dim sea: I am become a name;
For always roaming with a hungry heart
Much have I seen and known; cities of men
And manners, climates, councils, governments,
Myself not least, but honour'd of them all;
And drunk delight of battle with my peers,
Far on the ringing plains of windy Troy.

And there's more before the last part I quote above...

Comments

[rillifane.livejournal.com]

Of course none of Tennyson sounds odd to me since I grew up in a household where children were expected to be able to recite when called upon.

The Charge of the Light Brigade was a favorite at my house especially since one of my relatives had the honour of participating in that particular debacle.

[svenska.livejournal.com]

> or are they simply words that have fallen out of use

Yes, this question is difficult to answer, I don't know that neither. I guess it's a question for philologists who are specializing in the literature of that time.

But my personal opinion:
It is not out-of-date/obsolete language. The main writer of my childhood days was Pushkin, before school (poetical fairytales) and at school. After school, movie versions of Pushkin's writings. And I have never had any sense that out-of-date language is used in his prose or poetry. On the contrary, my language comes from Pushkin's language. At school we learned his verses by heart. Yes, there were some out-of-date words, but they are historically out-of-date: posts, objects...

After thinking, I consider these words to be the poetic lexicon. This concrete poem could be written by a modern poet with absolutely (100%) this lexicon. And I would have no ground for suspicion at all. So, it's the poetic lexicon.

P.S.
> язык здесь как-то незнакомый

стилистически на письме здесь "как-то" выдаёт иностранца.

1) язык здесь какой-то незнакомый – заменить на прилагательное.
2) язык здесь немного незнакомый (очень незнакомый) – если оставить наречие
3) переписать предложение полностью :) , изложив мысль с "как-то" стилистически более привычно для моего уха
4) сказать, что вы здесь написали правильно, что это тот самый случай как со словом "смыслА". В разговорной речи если слегка выделить "как-то" интонацией ( 1. мол, вам слов не хватает, или 2. вы еще не выяснили для себя, чтобы точно сформулировать), будет 101% по-русски :)

зделать
текст не был пропущен через spellchecker

P.P.S. Corrections welcomed :)