One of life's truths...(and an exercise in translation)

[alexpgp]

Translating into Russian is my "weak side," so I thought I'd take some time during a break to translate one of my all-time favorite short passages, from Damon Runyon's The Idyll of Miss Sarah Brown:

"Son," the old guy says, "no matter how far you travel, or how smart you get, always remember this: Some day, somewhere," he says, "a guy is going to come to you and show you a nice brand-new deck of cards on which the seal is never broken, and this guy is going to offer to bet you that the jack of spades will jump out of this deck and squirt cider in your ear. But, son," the old guy says, "do not bet him, for as sure as you do you are going to get an ear full of cider."

Сынок - говорит старик - куда бы ты не поехал, каким бы умным ты не стал, запомни на всю жизнь: в один прекрасный день - он говорит - к тебе где-то какой-то чудак подойдет, покажет новую, нераспечатанную колоду карт и будет готов поспорить о том, что из нее выскачит пиковый валет и бризнет тебе в ухо яблочным вином. Сын - говорит старик - не спорь, а то как только заключишь пари, у тебя ухо будет полно вином."

I'm fairly certain the words make sense linguistically. What I need to know, though, is whether Runyon's meaning is conveyed. I have a much better feel for this when reading Russian and writing in English.

("Say, mister, how do you get to Carnegie Hall?" "Practice!")

Cheers...