What I learned from The Big Edit™...
Sep. 24th, 2010 10:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alexpgpThe job's not finished yet, but a couple of items have been driven home over the course of reviewing very nearly 200,000 words of translation.
First, watch out for the overuse of the word "also," especially in constructions along the lines of "and also" (e.g., "The company will try to sustain performance andalso to introduce new technologies.)
There is a hazard as well in the premature (and, in my opinion, superfluous) appearance of "also," as in the sentence
Second, it's almost always possible to get rid of fluff like "We should note that..." For example,
Cheers...
First, watch out for the overuse of the word "also," especially in constructions along the lines of "and also" (e.g., "The company will try to sustain performance and
There is a hazard as well in the premature (and, in my opinion, superfluous) appearance of "also," as in the sentence
Other countries attempting to accelerate biofuel production have also encountered problems similar to those experienced in the United States.I find it's a little jarring to be hit with that "also" like that, its placement reminds me of the instruction "turn left where the barn used to be" given to the lost motorist in the old joke about the city-slicker and the New England farmer. The sentence reads perfectly well without the word:
Other countries attempting to accelerate biofuel production have encountered problems similar to those experienced in the United States.In short, I've found that a significant percentage of "also" occurrences can be deleted without harming the text. Maybe it's a peccadillo of this particular translation, but still...
Second, it's almost always possible to get rid of fluff like "We should note that..." For example,
Looking back at history, we should mention that on October 8, 1975, at a scientific session devoted to [a branch of scientific research, an eminent person gave a speech about energy.]At the very least, the "we should mention that" can be dropped to read
Looking back at history, on October 8, 1975, at a scientific session devoted to [a branch of scientific research, an eminent person gave a speech about energy.]And frankly, I think the sentence survives very well - and the overall text reads smoother - in the following form:
On October 8, 1975, at a scientific session devoted to [a branch of scientific research, an eminent person gave a speech about energy.]I really should get back to work, even if my heart isn't really in it. I can hear Galina packing upstairs.
Cheers...
