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Clueless dolts... gotta love 'em!
Nov. 12th, 2001 07:39 pmA long time ago, in a universe far, far away, a computer science instructor (who was forever damaging the minds of his students by teaching them BASIC) asked his class to write a simple program to print the product of six times seven. One fine fellow wrote the following:
I don't know why I recall that story, as I had no part in it. Maybe it's to keep from smashing a fist through a wall as I deal with these Excel files, which have been compiled in the ever-popular "shoehorn" style.
The shoehorn style, as the name implies, achieves its results by shoehorning things into files that, dear friends, were simply Never Meant To Be Done That Way.
The gomer who compiled this one interminable file I'm struggling with typed his labels to span three spreadsheet columns, rather than adjust the width of the first column. This makes editing the thing doubly difficult, as you can't place your mouse on the label, but only on the left end of the label.
There are other insults in the file, proving that there is no system of logic and order that cannot be fubar'd in short order by someone with a sugar cube and a toothpick (sugar cube and toothpick are optional).
* * * Today was another one of those shadow days at the store, where we can do UPS and FedEx, but not postal sales (per the terms of our contract).
People who want to buy stamps try to catch us in elaborate traps of logic on such days ("Well, I can go to the supermarket next door and buys stamps, why not here?"), but simply cannot understand that we are not a supermarket but a contract postal station, and that the word "contract" implies certain conditions that must be fulfilled for us fall within the definition of "complying" with the contract.
Boy, I'm venting, aren't I?
I stayed up last night to about 12:30 am to see what I could see of the Leonid meteor shower. As soon as I got outside, I saw two very bright, spectacular streaks, so I settled in for a show, only to be skunked. Drew went out later and saw 6 meteors in one minute. I am so jealous.
Anyway... I have to finish those files.
Cheers...
[Update of 11/13/01: Did I really say "Leonid meteor shower"? Yes, I did. A week or so early. Oh, well...]
10 PRINT "42"And it all went downhill from there.
I don't know why I recall that story, as I had no part in it. Maybe it's to keep from smashing a fist through a wall as I deal with these Excel files, which have been compiled in the ever-popular "shoehorn" style.
The shoehorn style, as the name implies, achieves its results by shoehorning things into files that, dear friends, were simply Never Meant To Be Done That Way.
The gomer who compiled this one interminable file I'm struggling with typed his labels to span three spreadsheet columns, rather than adjust the width of the first column. This makes editing the thing doubly difficult, as you can't place your mouse on the label, but only on the left end of the label.
There are other insults in the file, proving that there is no system of logic and order that cannot be fubar'd in short order by someone with a sugar cube and a toothpick (sugar cube and toothpick are optional).
People who want to buy stamps try to catch us in elaborate traps of logic on such days ("Well, I can go to the supermarket next door and buys stamps, why not here?"), but simply cannot understand that we are not a supermarket but a contract postal station, and that the word "contract" implies certain conditions that must be fulfilled for us fall within the definition of "complying" with the contract.
Boy, I'm venting, aren't I?
I stayed up last night to about 12:30 am to see what I could see of the Leonid meteor shower. As soon as I got outside, I saw two very bright, spectacular streaks, so I settled in for a show, only to be skunked. Drew went out later and saw 6 meteors in one minute. I am so jealous.
Anyway... I have to finish those files.
Cheers...
[Update of 11/13/01: Did I really say "Leonid meteor shower"? Yes, I did. A week or so early. Oh, well...]
