Daylight Saving Time...

Good Morning, Mr. Phelps,

For the next couple of weeks, everything you know about time differences between where you are, in the snowy Rockies of Colorado, and other places where it's useful for you to know the time is turned on its ear slightly.

• Sydney is now 14 hours ahead of you.
  
• Paris is now 7 hours ahead of you.
  
• Moscow is now 8 hours ahead of you.
  
• Baikonur is now 11 hours ahead of you.

Don't bother memorizing this, as it will all change in two weeks anyway.

For now, keep in mind that any time lost due to "mixups" in figuring times will adversely affect the laughably small amount of energy the country may save thanks to Congressional grandstanding foresight in changing the rules for calculating DST, and the Secretary will be very disappointed.

The electrons in this message will disintegrate in five seconds. Or not. Quantum physics is tricky like that.