Field expedient 872: Decorating tips...

Dear Walmart,

When placing hooks on the backs of large mirrors, it is usual and customary to make sure they are located the same distance from the top edge of the frame on the left-hand and right-hand sides. On the other hand, if you're going to screw this detail up, I guess it's best that you screw it up so that the lack of uniformity is obvious even to the casual observer.

Also, when producing more than one of an item—I'll let you have that idea for free—it is usual and customary to locate such hooks not only the same distance from the edge on both left and right sides, but also to maintain that same difference from mirror to mirror. Here, too, I suppose if you're going to screw this detail up, it's best to do it in the unashamedly obvious manner I found when mounting your mirrors in the bathroom.

I remain, etc.

* * *In other news, Galina and I painted the master bathroom and the kitchen. The procedure brought back, as it always does, fond memories of the summer between freshman and sophomore year at the university, if memory serves, where I talked my way into a job on a crew whose task it was to paint dorm rooms. It was amazing how such a relatively low-level job will reveal about about the people (generally speaking) one goes to school with, insofar as their attitudes and world view.

Cheers...