alexpgp | My burimé

The task, in writing burimé, is to employ preassigned rhymes in a poem. (At least, that's how it was explained to me.) The rhymes published in the SlavFile for burimé intended to "compete" at the conference were:

deadline - red wine
relax - fax
ATA - run away
Viagra - Niagara
facility - humility
крот - перевод
конституция - проституция
бездарный - высокопарный
шок - порошок
вино - бревно
намекает - try it
чёрт - snort
mean - блондин
future - круче
jelly - неужели

Note that some of the pairs consist of English, Russian, or mixed English and Russian words. So my rendering was:

The Rush Job

Just as the time nears to relax,
A ring... a click... my God! A fax!
All sober sense says: "Run away!"
But I'm a pro; I'm "A-T-A."
Rush job, dear! Да, перевод!
(Живу я как несчастный крот!)
Убираю я вино,
Сижу спокойно, как бревно.
I read. I cough. At last, I snort.
This mad text proves there is a чёрт.
A snap? A breeze? Oh, неужели?
Then why've my guts turned into jelly?
Автор, ох! Высокопарный!
Составлял лишь чуж бездарный.
The challenge, though, assaults humility.
Letting fly misjudged facility!
О том, о сем, текст намекает,
"Oh, what the hell," I say, "I'll try it!"
Текст – касаясь проституцию –
Ухудшает конституцию.
I write. The words form a Niagara.
(The author must have chewed Viagra.)
Tell me, dear, what does this mean:
"он долба ... what the hell? ... блондин"?
Конец! Не распался в порошок!
Ах, блеск! Какой приятный шок!
I'm just so glad I made deadline.
Time to pour and drink red wine!
But just remember, in the future,
Look up what is meant by "круче"!

The farewell banquet starts in just a few minutes. Then it's back up to the room for a couple of hours of shuteye, as technically, I must be at LAX at around 4:30 am to check in (two hours prior, right?). That puts my wakeup at around 3:30 am or so.

Ye gods.

More later... maybe even a translation of the funny squiggles.

Cheers...