Done for the day...
Apr. 16th, 2003 09:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alexpgpThe rest of the day's quota went quickly, and I even managed to get a leg up on later work (I estimate about150 segments, but about 100 of those didn't involve translation, but consolidating material that doesn't get translated anyway, like section numbers).
I have to stop talking like this. I'm scaring myself.
In any event, I got some feedback on my SlavFile column (and on my response to the e-mail that arrived about my translation). To be frank, I've been so busy, I have yet to look at any of it. But it did remind me of that e-mail again, so I've decided to include it in my journal.
The e-mail I received said basically this:
On the other hand, if we take a look at the broader picture, the translation is not really all that far off (in fact, I still think it's pretty good, but I'm biased...).
Long-time readers of my journal will recall that I tried the "literal" translation of the Russian - "Your Honor" - in my first draft. However, since Americans have no recent history of addressing nobility by title, there is no real corresponding way of saying "Your Honor" and have it make sense in American English in the context of the poem. On the other hand, the formulation "convey my compliments" would be familiar to many former military types, as it is (or was) a common mode of expression among officers ("Orderly! Please convey my compliments to Lt. Smith and let him know I would like to see him in my office.")
While on the subject, I would maintain that words such as "favor" and "passion" would - presumably - be as easily comprehended by your average E-1, if for no other reason than because the former word is associated with gambling, and the latter, with pornography. (I say "presumably" because such a characterization proffers the stereotype of the average G.I. Joe as being marginally smarter than a chimpanzee and interested only in gambling and sex, which is a base canard.)
But all this is beside the point, because we're not talking about real life, here... we're talking about a story. It all boils down to this: If the singer is really illiterate, how the heck does he end up singing a song with professional-quality lyrics that just happen to reflect events in his recent past?
If we are to somehow mistake the movie for reality, then our hero really would have walked home singing Katyusha and we'd all have filed out of the theater without having missed a beat. (Sorry, for some reason, Semagic won't let me type in Cyrillic).
My mind is fried... Maybe I'll pick this up later. Maybe I won't.
Cheers...
I have to stop talking like this. I'm scaring myself.
In any event, I got some feedback on my SlavFile column (and on my response to the e-mail that arrived about my translation). To be frank, I've been so busy, I have yet to look at any of it. But it did remind me of that e-mail again, so I've decided to include it in my journal.
The e-mail I received said basically this:
"There is no question that Alex did an admirable job by managing to skillfully convey the feelings expressed in the Russian original. The problem is that the character singing this song is an uneducated peasant returning home on foot from the war, and the stylistics of the English translation are absolutely different from that of the Russian original, not to mention the fact that this character would never use Russian equivalents of 'my compliments', 'favor', 'passion', etc. As a result, what makes this song precious to native Russian speakers is mainly lost in the translation. Also, the letter mentioned by this character is from his beloved (he dreams of her and the viewer sees her a number of times through his eyes); therefore, I'll fall in love instead is outright incorrect."My response was this:
Thanks for conveying X's note to me. It raises some interesting points and underscores the fact that few, if any, translations of a literary character can "connect" on all the many levels and shadings that one can identify in linguistic expression.X made an interesting point, in that the language used in the song is certainly not that of a literary snob. I have enough of a feel for the language to detect that. And I must admit, I didn't really pay attention to replicating this aspect of the lyrics because it didn't occur to me.
My goals in translating the lyrics were (a) to convey the feelings expressed in the Russian original, and (b) to do so in a way that the translated lyrics could actually be sung to the original music. In my opinion, any serious attempt to express the nuances X points out would be wiped out by the suspension of disbelief that is a prerequisite for enjoying any kind of entertaining tale.
I look forward to someday sitting down with X to discuss this, or any other points he may have, further (preferably, accompanied by a liquid libation and zakuska).
On the other hand, if we take a look at the broader picture, the translation is not really all that far off (in fact, I still think it's pretty good, but I'm biased...).
Long-time readers of my journal will recall that I tried the "literal" translation of the Russian - "Your Honor" - in my first draft. However, since Americans have no recent history of addressing nobility by title, there is no real corresponding way of saying "Your Honor" and have it make sense in American English in the context of the poem. On the other hand, the formulation "convey my compliments" would be familiar to many former military types, as it is (or was) a common mode of expression among officers ("Orderly! Please convey my compliments to Lt. Smith and let him know I would like to see him in my office.")
While on the subject, I would maintain that words such as "favor" and "passion" would - presumably - be as easily comprehended by your average E-1, if for no other reason than because the former word is associated with gambling, and the latter, with pornography. (I say "presumably" because such a characterization proffers the stereotype of the average G.I. Joe as being marginally smarter than a chimpanzee and interested only in gambling and sex, which is a base canard.)
But all this is beside the point, because we're not talking about real life, here... we're talking about a story. It all boils down to this: If the singer is really illiterate, how the heck does he end up singing a song with professional-quality lyrics that just happen to reflect events in his recent past?
If we are to somehow mistake the movie for reality, then our hero really would have walked home singing Katyusha and we'd all have filed out of the theater without having missed a beat. (Sorry, for some reason, Semagic won't let me type in Cyrillic).
My mind is fried... Maybe I'll pick this up later. Maybe I won't.
Cheers...
