Decision time...

[alexpgp]

Just got off the phone with Natalie, after unloading about life, etc. on her. Then I had a small epiphany.

I went to Google and did a search on my BP meds and the word "depression." While there is nothing definitive that I could see, there were enough "nibbles" to make me think there may be a relationship. I will raise the issue with the doc the next time I see him, which is in two weeks or so.

In the meantime, regardless of its cause, I shall do with what I perceive to be my depression what mathematician John Nash (cf A Beautiful Mind) did with his so-called "schizophrenia" (at least, in the movie): I shall ignore it, or more exactly, I shall take more steps to actively manage my mental state toward the positive (something I think I do naturally), but particularly when I start to feel depressed.

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
  Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
  For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
  I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
  My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
  Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
  Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
  How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
  I am the captain of my soul.

--William Ernest Henley

Cheers...

Comments

[kf6gpe.livejournal.com]

Having been through some similar things with my medication for BP, I can certainly empathize. If you need to talk, please feel to email or IM.

And on the other side of things, that'< a good strategy, especially when you have an appointment soon. :)