LJ Idol Week 5.14: Resolutions, anyone?

[alexpgp]

I made resolutions in 2002, 2003, and 2004, but then gave it up.

Why? Because when the time came to "settle accounts," so to speak, at the end of the year, it uniformly turned out that (surprise!) I did pretty well at the stuff I was good at - "pursue excellence as a wordsmith, interpreter, and translator" - and not so well (sometimes spectacularly so) in areas I wasn't so good at, which included almost everything else. Basically, in most areas, I hadn't changed at all.

According to articles published several years ago in The Wall Street Journal and Wired, this turns out to be about par for the course for most people, which is little consolation. According to those articles, something like 94 out of 100 people fail to make important personal lifestyle changes even if there is very clear and direct evidence that such changes will, with near certainty, prolong their lives.

So I "backslid," if you will, in terms of improving my life. I just kept on "keeping on." It worked, sort of. Or then again, maybe not.

Doing things I excelled at gave me a pretty workmanlike feeling of overpowering my shortcomings, but in truth, I was running around at Mach 2 with my hair on fire, letting stuff get out of control from time to time. Tempers flared; communications collapsed; credit scores suffered.

I think it took the relatively recent deaths of my parents, one year apart, to jar me hard enough and make me acutely aware that life isn't static, that I'm closer to the end of my life than to the beginning, and that if I don't start to apply some boot to buttock real soon, there will be that much less "later" in which to live a better life.

So, I've decided it's time to once more enter the lists, because if there's one thing the end-of-year holiday season brings out - at least in most of us - it is the irrepressible idea that it is possible to turn a new leaf and improve one's life. And this year, I've decided to pay attention and do something about it. (I can almost hear Paul Henreid's voice saying "Welcome back to the fight. This time I know our side will win.")

So, just as you'd want to launch a rocket toward the east from the Equator, thus taking advantage of the fact that, from your position, you're already moving east at 1000 mph without having done a thing, I figure, "Why not take advantage of the jump start associated with the 'starting with a new slate' feeling of the New Year and go with the flow?"

Hey! It's only a few hours to the New Year!

In those earlier years, my list of resolutions was pretty impressive in scope. However, a dip into Ben Franklin's seminal work in the self-improvement field (his Autobiography, which should be read even if you have no intention of making New Year's Resolutions) shows that ol' Ben hewed to the simple approach, keeping his goals down to thirteen areas of interest, which he called Virtues, each described in one or two sentences (e.g., "11. Tranquillity. Be not disturbed at Trifles, or at Accidents common or unavoidable.").

Heck, I can do that! Anyone can!

What I failed to do, in those years where I made no progress, was what Franklin did back before the advent of the BlackBerry and the Moleskine, and that was to review his personal behavior on a regular basis (each day, in fact) and, in a notebook of his own design, to

mark by a little black Spot every Fault I found upon Examination to have been committed respecting that Virtue upon that Day.

With such a system, it was easy to see how he was doing at any point in time, although I think the real purpose of his notebook was to help him stay focused on his goals.

Furthermore, he concentrated on strengthening each of his Virtues individually, on a successive weekly basis, rather than trying to improve them all at once. Rome was not built in a day, and any of us is a much more splendid work, worthy of greater care and attention.

So the key isn't the goal you set, but how often you pay attention to what and how you're doing, making any necessary "course corrections."

With that little lecture under my belt - directed more at myself than at you, kind reader - and with the assumption that I need little encouragement to excel at things I am already good at, herewith are my modest goals for 2009, which have been chosen precisely because they are goals I have not able to so much as dent in years past:

1. Improve my relationship with my wife, children, and grandchildren.
2. Get medieval on my lack of facility with money.
3. In connection with #2, make an earnest effort to understand investments.
4. In connection with #2, stamp out "leaks" of cash from our household.
5. In connection with #2, plan and start an online enterprise of some kind.
6. Take control of my health, especially my weight.
7. Expand the scope of my one-man shop.
8. In connection with #7, market my company's services more aggressively to end clients.
9. Acquire improved fluency in speaking French.
10. Finish the story I started to write during this past Nanowrimo.

In closing, whether you choose to make resolutions or not, dear reader, please accept my best wishes for the coming New Year!

Cheers...

Comments

[apollo14.livejournal.com]

One of my resolution will be to read Ben Franklin's Autobiography, I suppose.

[alexpgp.livejournal.com]

Don't know if you prefer paper to pixels, but there's an electronic version available for free from Gutenberg.org (http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/148).

Cheers...

[russia-insider.livejournal.com]

I dont really get the meaning of word 'medieval' in item 2 (% Could you please explain?

[alexpgp.livejournal.com]

Sure.

Actually, the idiom I'm using is "to get medieval on (something or someone)," which can mean "to inflict a disproportionately large amount of violence and pain on (something or someone)," or more generally, "to exert a disproportionately large amount of effort with respect to (something or someone)." It helps to think of how imaginative folks were in medieval times when it came to inflicting torture.

The currency of the phrase in popular usage received a boost from its utterance in the film Pulp Fiction, where, in the scene where Butch (Bruce Willis) asks "What now?" of Marsellus (Ving Rhames) after the former saved the latter from rapists, Marsellus responds with how he plans to have his former tormentors tortured "with a pair of pliers and a blow torch," suddenly turning to one of them and yelling

You hear me talkin', hillbilly boy? I ain't through with you by a damn sight. I'ma get medieval on your ass.

Cheers...

[russia-insider.livejournal.com]

wow, thank you for the detailed answer. I had no idea about this meaning of the word. In Russian dictionaries usually it has only one meaning referring to the time period in history, Thanks a lot.

[beeker121.livejournal.com]

With the next topic being "resolute" maybe you should link this there too. In any case, your point that it's how we work on the resolutions, not the act of making them, that is the true effort is a great one. Thanks for the reminder of that.

Happy new year to you as well.

[alexpgp.livejournal.com]

I needed to remind myself of that, too.

Dunno about using this for the next topic, though. Then again, I may use it as a starting point for something else.

Thanks for the holiday wish.

Cheers...

P.S. I guess I did use most of the text for the "next" topic!

[beeker121.livejournal.com]

Well I liked it here, so I look forward to reading the slightly different version for this week.

I am still figuring out what to do with this topic.

[boxsofrain.livejournal.com]

That little black spot sounds pretty determined, it would only give me anxiety. I hope all your hopes for 2009 come true.

[alexpgp.livejournal.com]

I never have been able to figure out the rhyme or reason behind 18th century English composition.

Same best wishes right back at you!

Cheers...

[baxaphobia.livejournal.com]

As always a well written and thoughtful entry. Good luck with your list! And happy New year!

[alexpgp.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Cheers...

[kathrynrose.livejournal.com]

Good luck with your goals!

[alexpgp.livejournal.com]

Thanks! (Neat userpic!)

Cheers...

[shadowwolf13]

Looks like you're making the right plans to get where you want to be. :) Best of luck!

[alexpgp.livejournal.com]

I certainly hope so. (I've had enough experience, at least! :^)

Thanks.

Cheers...

[imafarmgirl.livejournal.com]

Good luck with your goals.

[alexpgp.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

Cheers...

[walkertxkitty.livejournal.com]

I've made similar conclusions. In fact, a similar document hangs in my office to remind me of the things I need to do. Good luck to you!

[alexpgp.livejournal.com]

I actually laminated one of those erstwhile lists, and carried it around with me. (Hardly ever looked at it, though!)

Thanks!

Cheers...

[thenodrin.livejournal.com]

Have you ever read, "Have More Money Now" by John Layfield? It presents a lot of parallels between health, fitness, and financial security.

For example, it says that you don't get 50 pounds overweight overnight, and you don't get in debt overnight. Likewise, you don't lose weight quickly, and you don't resolve debt quickly, either. In his words, "You can't crash-diet, or crash-budget."

I noticed that you list both weight and finance in your points. So, I thought you might like a look at the book, if you can find a copy.

Theno

[alexpgp.livejournal.com]

I can't say the title or the author are familiar, but the concept that financial problems and weight problems share similar incremental characteristics is.

Then again, I think quite a number of goal lists created by persons past the age of, say, 40 are going to touch on health and finance anyway.

Thanks for the suggestion.

Cheers...

[theafaye.livejournal.com]

You really were psychically linked with Gary last week!

Good luck staying focused on your goals.

[alexpgp.livejournal.com]

Maybe. Or perhaps we were both equally bored! :^)

Thanks for the wishes.

Cheers...

[alycewilson.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a really good list, and I enjoyed your musings about the nature of resolutions. Good luck!

[alexpgp.livejournal.com]

Thanks on both counts.

Cheers...

[rejeneration.livejournal.com]

Your writing is _incredible_. Usually with a few sentences like, "I did pretty well at the stuff I was good at - "pursue excellence as a wordsmith, interpreter, and translator", I'd scoff and walk away. It's takes a pretty incredible writer to pull that one off, and yet you do. I'm willing to cut you all slack on that! -grin-

Doing things I excelled at gave me a pretty workmanlike feeling of overpowering my shortcomings, but in truth, I was running around at Mach 2 with my hair on fire, letting stuff get out of control from time to time. Tempers flared; communications collapsed; credit scores suffered.

This made me laugh. I love how you educate in this piece, how lessons learned come across so much more important than these pieces of superstition we pick up like stones to moss. It's not about statistics, you said, and that's so true!

and that was to review his personal behavior on a regular basis (each day, in fact) and, in a notebook of his own design, to
mark by a little black Spot every Fault I found upon Examination to have been committed respecting that Virtue upon that Day.

This. This feels brilliant.

Your work is captivating!

[alexpgp.livejournal.com]

I appreciate the kind words. In retrospect, however, I'm wondering as to the wisdom of my approach, considering the competition and the current standings (tied for second to last in my group).

Again, thanks!

Cheers...

[roina-arwen.livejournal.com]

I haven't read Ben Franklin's work, but I quite imagine it would be interesting - he's one of my favorite historical characters! :)

[alexpgp.livejournal.com]

He is consistently the first person who comes to my mind when I care to think about "What one historical person would I care to have dinner with?"

Cheers...

[brightflashes.livejournal.com]

You're an incredible writer. I would imagine every time I say it, it must sound trite, but something about your writing coupled with your attitude really "gets" me. You are so right about keeping oneself accountable for goals. : )