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[personal profile] alexpgp
It was 1976, and the Cold War was on hold, or so they said. "Détente" was on everyone's lips, and while things had gotten to the point where U.S. astronauts and Soviet cosmonauts had flown together in space the previous year, bumps remained in the road. A stranger on the street had handed an American diplomat a package wrapped in brown paper, resulting in the latter's immediate arrest on charges of espionage. Soviet citizens seeking to join family members abroad under the terms of the Helsinki Accords did so at the risk of becoming immediately unemployable and the object of social ostracism and official harassment. And as far as anyone could tell, there had been no layoffs to speak of in the Soviet propaganda and disinformation industries.

I spent that Bicentennial year working in Moscow for a U.S. travel agency as a "tour escort," which was most assuredly not the same as "tour guide," a distinction that had been carefully explained to me over a mostly friendly glass of hot tea by a functionary of Intourist, the Soviet government tourist agency, whose name was a contraction of the Russian for "foreign tourist." It all sort of made sense, when you considered that Intourist was tasked with managing every aspect of a tourist's visit—what was seen, what was heard, what was done—all orchestrated to make sure said tourist went home with only the most positive impressions of the USSR. It was not a job for amateurs, or the "politically unreliable." I, apparently, was both, so my function was limited to representing my company, and listening to customer complaints.

Intourist, on the other hand, had been staffed by politically reliable professionals since 1929. It was created that year by order of Joseph Stalin and staffed with personnel from a direct predecessor of what, in 1976, was called the "Committee for State Security," otherwise known as the KGB.

People who worked for Intourist in those days basically collected their paycheck from the security services, and anyone who, like me, lived and worked in the Intourist Hotel, in the heart of Moscow, moved through spaces where the density of KGB employees per square foot was second only to the density a few blocks away, on Dzerzhinsky Square, within the KGB headquarters building itself (at least according to the maître d' of the hotel's second-floor restaurant, who told me this jokingly—but only after glancing over his shoulders).

So it was with some surprise that, while tending to some routine duties at my company's "hospitality" desk in the hotel lobby, a man about a dozen years my senior walked up to me and informed me, without so much as a by-your-leave that I can recall, that he was a dissident.

Just as he said the word "dissident," I felt my mental state change. A little voice commanded Shields up! somewhere in my head. This was because, in a country where just about everyone I had met—like that second-floor maître d'—paused for just an instant to determine who was within earshot before saying something that might be "misunderstood" if overheard, this meathead shows up out of nowhere and tells me straight out—no looking around, not even a token lowering of the voice—that, in effect, he's a troublemaker who's not a big fan of the local Powers That Be, because that's what it meant to be a "dissident" in those days.

Not only is he telling me this, but he's announcing it to me in the lobby of a hotel run by the KGB! A scant thirty yards away, in fact, there stood a door to a room I had mentally dubbed "the penalty box," after I had seen the door opened to admit some poor jamoke that was being frog-marched out of the lobby by a couple of burly bouncer types, doubtless for being a troublemaker of some kind.

My initial reaction to my interlocutor's opening line had been to say something stand-offish, like "So, you want me to give you a medal?"—but my Russian was not up to the task. Before I could formulate something less flippant, the man dragged up a nearby lobby chair, draped himself across it, and began to rant about how bad conditions were in the Soviet Union. I did my best to ignore him, until he did something that made me really sit up and take notice, mentally.

He prompted me to agree with what he had said.

Why would he be doing that? I asked myself, surveying the lobby and wondering why my visitor's presence had not elicited any response from the people who normally did a workmanlike job of keeping the hoi polloi out of the hotel. And then it occurred to me—my interlocutor was probably not who he claimed to be, and I was very likely being subjected to a "turn your head and cough" moment, a test to see if anything untoward would emerge should I be prompted in just the right way.

You see, over the course of learning the ropes of my job, I had from time to time been the subject of casual efforts to gauge my political leanings, my views on the issues of the day, and similar subjects. The questions I was asked had always been such as to allow me to come across honestly as someone who was suitably pro-American, as befit my origin, yet undecided about things Soviet (this last, frankly, involving a bit of prevarication on my part the longer I stayed in-country).

"Why should I agree with you?" I said to my visitor. "You sound like a lunatic!"

"What do you mean, 'you sound like a lunatic'?" he said.

"Did I say it incorrectly?" I said, and added, by way of explanation, "I am still only learning Russian. I meant to say, 'The ideas you express make me think you are crazy'."

He blinked and glanced to the side for a moment, eyes wide open, as if thinking How do I get through to this idiot? He refocused on me and rephrased his question: "What is it about what I said that makes you think I'm a lunatic?" His tone reminded me of an encyclopedia salesman I once knew, who was always eager to overcome any and all objections a prospect might offer.

"Well, the question you just asked does, for one thing," I said, and before he could sort that one out, I added: "Look, I've got to get back to work, so if you'll…"

"Okay!" said my visitor. "Look, I'm sorry. I apologize. My question was out of line." He waited a beat and then continued: "I've been under a lot of stress." Another beat, and he said, "Can I ask you for a favor?" Taking my silence as a "yes," he continued: "I'm desperate to leave this wretched country. Will you sign a document saying you're a distant relative of mine, so I can start the emigration process?"

"No," I said.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because I'd be lying. You and I are not related," I said.

"So what?" he said, "Nobody cares. The authorities just care that I have a relative living abroad."

"I'd care, because I'd be lying," I said, and I didn't doubt that "the authorities" would also care, and would view my lie as an affront worthy of cutting short my career in the hospitality industry and deporting me, or worse.

"I can pay you!" he said.

"Being paid to lie is even worse," I said, and my thoughts returned to that encyclopedia salesman, and I realized I was being drawn into a protracted "sales" pitch.

"But…" said my visitor, whereupon I stepped up close to him and, in a calm voice, interrupted him before he could get another word past his teeth.

"Look," I said, "I've got work to do, and if you don't stop pestering me, I'm going to go over to the front desk and ask that you be removed from my work area. Do you understand me?"

Upon hearing my words, my visitor got up, took his leave, and started to walk aimlessly about the lobby. I followed his progress for a while, but eventually had to turn my attention to my duties. The last I saw of my "dissident," he was headed not for the hotel doors leading to the street outside, but in the general direction of the door to "the penalty box."

The Cold War may have been on hold, but I felt as if I had just survived a minor skirmish in it.

Date: 2014-08-19 04:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] adoptedwriter.livejournal.com
Whew! Good thing you didn't sign! I hate signing any major contracts and official papers without fully understanding, lest I get busted for not reading the fine print. AW

Date: 2014-08-19 09:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alexpgp.livejournal.com
Under the circumstances, there was scant chance of that happening, believe me!

Cheers...

Date: 2014-08-19 07:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kehlen-crow.livejournal.com
This sounds like something out of a spy novel!

Also, I did not know that Intourist employed foreign citizens for such a roles (though I should have expected it, really).

Date: 2014-08-19 09:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alexpgp.livejournal.com
Well, for a little while, it sure felt like I was in a spy novel (although for what reason, I had no idea).

I've gone back to make minor changes in an attempt to clarify my employment, which was for a U.S. travel agency out of New York. I never worked for Intourist directly.

Cheers...

Date: 2014-08-20 11:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kehlen-crow.livejournal.com
Thank you for the clarification.

I, too, am glad you did not give into this provocation.

Date: 2014-08-20 08:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alexpgp.livejournal.com
Aha! I knew there was a word that kept escaping me as I wrote this.

Провокация!

(Rhymes with дезинформация!)

Cheers...

Date: 2014-08-20 09:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kehlen-crow.livejournal.com
Ha, I had a slight suspicion this might be the case :-)

Date: 2014-08-19 08:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bleodswean.livejournal.com
This is such a fantastic story! I wonder if this ploy ever really worked!

Date: 2014-08-19 09:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alexpgp.livejournal.com
Thanks for the kind words. I really have no idea, but I imagine it probably did.

Cheers...

Date: 2014-08-20 02:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kickthehobbit.livejournal.com
I can't imagine handling that as well as you did.

Nicely written.

Date: 2014-08-20 08:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alexpgp.livejournal.com
Thanks!

I just imagined I was dealing with the encyclopedia salesman! :^)

Cheers...

Date: 2014-08-20 12:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eternal-ot.livejournal.com
Phew! that was close...thanks to your intuition. An interesting read..especially since it's RL. :)

Date: 2014-08-20 08:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alexpgp.livejournal.com
Thanks for the compliment!

Cheers...

Date: 2014-08-20 03:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] roina-arwen.livejournal.com
I always enjoy your entries, and a look into a foreigner's view of another culture!

Intourist sort of makes me think of that false Russian city that was all fake building fronts, put up for an emperor or empress to tour? I'm sure you know what I'm talking about, but the names and details have all leaked out of my head, LOL.

Date: 2014-08-20 09:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alexpgp.livejournal.com
The story is apocryphal, but it's said that when Catherine the Great traveled to visit Crimea, her military strategist (and lover) Gregory Potemkin arranged for the construction of fake villages along the way, to give the Empress the impression of a happy land and populace.

If one takes a few liberties, I can see where there might be parallels! :^)

Cheers...

Date: 2014-08-20 06:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mamas-minion.livejournal.com
Your stories inspire me to want to know more about cold war era Russia and Europe, Sneaky, did they try and trip you up like that often?
Edited Date: 2014-08-20 06:41 pm (UTC)

Date: 2014-08-20 09:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alexpgp.livejournal.com
Well, I suppose any time someone asked me a non-business question during an official function might be considered an attempt to learn more about me, but as far as I can remember, this was the only time I felt I was in somebody's "sights."

Cheers...

Date: 2014-08-20 08:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dmousey.livejournal.com
He bested the spider in it's own web... Nice one! :)

Date: 2014-08-20 09:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alexpgp.livejournal.com
Thanks for the kind words.

Cheers...

Date: 2014-08-20 09:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] halfshellvenus.livejournal.com
I was hoping you'd write about the Cold War Era in the Soviet Union, and you did not disappoint.

That is always the first place my mind goes when I hear the word, "Disinformation." It was put to such extensive, prolonged use there (China too, though the results are less well known to us).

I suspect you're right, that this was an attempt to see if you would reveal 'true colors' that were unacceptable, rather than to solicit actual help.

Date: 2014-08-20 10:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alexpgp.livejournal.com
Well, after last week's prompt turned my attention to that period of my life, this week's prompt—a word whose etymology tracks directly back to Soviet activities in the early days of the Cold War—made it easy to continue to look in that direction.

I'm glad you liked the piece.

Cheers...
Edited Date: 2014-08-20 10:25 pm (UTC)

Date: 2014-08-21 12:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cheshire23.livejournal.com
I think you were a lot less "politically unreliable" than they thought. :)

Date: 2014-08-26 12:01 am (UTC)

Date: 2014-08-21 08:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] waltzmatildah.livejournal.com
This was such an interesting entry!! I really enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing.

Date: 2014-08-26 12:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alexpgp.livejournal.com
Glad you liked it!

Date: 2014-08-21 07:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shimmerdream.livejournal.com
It was so lucky you didn't agree with him! Great entry.

Date: 2014-08-26 12:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alexpgp.livejournal.com
I agree. Thanks for the kind words!

Date: 2014-08-21 08:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] karmasoup.livejournal.com
I'm surprised you were not a little insulted that they apparently did not have that much respect for your intelligence, to not have imagined that you wouldn't have naturally seen right through that weak ploy!

Date: 2014-08-26 12:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alexpgp.livejournal.com
Actually, I was a bit relieved. The way it went down made me feel as if I was caught in a situation where someone had a job to do, it got done, and then everybody moved on.

Cheers...

Date: 2014-08-21 09:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] walkertxkitty.livejournal.com
I think you're one of my only friends old enough to remember the Cold War as more than a vague threat or some sort of joke. While I don't miss the fear, I do miss the excitement.

Date: 2014-08-26 12:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alexpgp.livejournal.com
Yeah, it's amazing... nobody under the age of 30, really—or more realistically, of 35—even remembers the Cold War.

Me, I could have done without both the fear and the excitement. :^)

Date: 2014-08-21 11:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jem0000000.livejournal.com
Yikes! Glad you caught it okay, and came through so well. :)

Date: 2014-08-26 12:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alexpgp.livejournal.com
You and me both!

Thanks for stopping by...

Date: 2014-08-26 07:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jem0000000.livejournal.com
You're welcome. :)

Date: 2014-08-22 12:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] talon.livejournal.com
Comrade, you've passed your first test. Glory to the USSR!

Date: 2014-08-26 12:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alexpgp.livejournal.com
I feel a little bit like Frodo. :^)

Date: 2014-08-22 12:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emo-snal.livejournal.com
In soviet Russia, dissident spies on you!

Date: 2014-08-26 12:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alexpgp.livejournal.com
You've got that right!

:^)

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