Mar. 15th, 2012

alexpgp: (OldGuy)
Two nights ago, I was awakened by my Skype ring tone, but the call went to voice mail before I could get out of bed and find my phone. Thinking nothing more of it, I drifted off back to sleep. Yesterday morning, I saw that the call had come from my sister-in-law, and my heart sank, because there would only be one reason for a call in the middle of the night: some kind of bad news.

And indeed, it turns out that her and Galina's mother, my mother-in-law, has died.

Russian culture calls for the use of the patronymic—basically, a name based on the father's name—as one's middle name. For example, Ivan's son Victor is, formally, Victor Ivanovich. Ivan's daughter Maria is, formally, Maria Ivanovna. The use of the patronymic with one's elders and superiors (e.g., at work) is fairly analogous to our use of honorifics and last names, except that nobody in Russia would ever encourage a younger person or subordinate to "just call my by my first name."

Over the course of yesterday's long-ish drive from Cloverdale, Indiana, to Salina, Kansas, I got to thinking a lot about my Valeria Nikolaevna (Valeria, daughter of Nikolay). She was a sweet lady, with a core of stainless steel. And if there is one quality about her that stands out in my mind, it was that she was always upbeat and never raised her voice in anger to anyone (and there was one time, at least, when I know I gave her justifiable cause to do so).

I am a better man for having known her. May she rest in peace.

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