Entirely too much free time...

I am impelled by forces unknown and unknowable to pause and consider how I might best use that area reserved for email disclaimers below my closing.

My latest effort:

This email may contain confidential information. If it does, and you are not the intended recipient, please notify the sender of this error and destroy all copies in your possession. Failure to do so will magnify your carbon footprint, hasten the heat death of the universe, and is strongly frowned upon. If you aren't reading this, then this disclaimer has done its job.

Almost perfect!

Cheers...