Down to a cough, and scratchy eyes...
Feb. 14th, 2002 01:53 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alexpgpEugene M's telecon didn't let out until nearly 9 am yesterday, and I stopped by the CompUSA on Bay Area Boulevard to check out wireless equipment on the way home, so by the time I got home, it was past 10 am. I had a quick bite and went immediately to bed.
For some reason, I find it difficult to sleep for more than 3 or 4 hours when I go to sleep that early. I got up at 3 pm or so, puttered around the place, checked my e-mail, etc. and then tried to go to sleep again to put paid to the remnants of whatever it was I had (which amounted to an improved cough, a slightly stuffy nose, and a feeling around the eyeballs that sometimes makes me think they're floating in Tabasco sauce).
I finally dozed off around 8 pm and was roused by my Timex at the appointed time of 10:30pm.
There. Now you know the story of my life for the day, more or less.
Lee called late in the afternoon. Her consulting contract was terminated, which was both expected (she'd only signed on for 6 months, and the tour is up) and unexpected (she'd gotten a lot of kudos on her go-getter attitude). I'd always figured that what was going to happen could be predicted by looking at who was paying for the contract: a bureaucracy or a company with vision. Seeing as how her client was affiliated with Southwestern Bell, I guess the answer to that riddle should have been pretty obvious all along (although "hope springs eternal," and all that).
* * * The precepts set forth in The Four Agreements are fairly straightforward. They are easily understandible in the course of a first reading, which can probably be accomplished in less than one day (I read about one third of the book in something like two hours, and I am not a speed-reader).
The implementation of those ideas, however, is hard, hard work. I've been there.
Ruiz's first "agreement" is: Be impeccable with your word. This sounds straightforward enough, even after he explains what he means, which I interpret as: Do not use words against yourself or others.
Vastly oversimplifying, that means you don't engage in self-talk along the lines of "I'll never get this finished," or "I must be stupid," or "I'll never get out of debt," because the mind has a wonderful capacity of taking our thoughts and turning them into reality. The same applies when we hear other people, especially people we love and respect, tell us similar things.
A fellow I worked with, Paul by name, was something of a textbook example of what I mean. We both worked for the same employer, and there would be days when I'd come to work with a smile on my face, a bounce to my step, and a really positive outlook on life. Paul would then come in with his morning coffee and proceed to make me aware of everything that was wrong in our world: our bosses, our subordinates, our client... you name it.
After he'd unloaded this cargo of steaming refuse into my ear, he'd leave and I would sit in my office and stare off into space with an outlook on life that was "completely different" from the one I'd come to work with. Paul is a very effective communicator, and within the space of a few minutes, my positive outlook on life had been changed - and not for the better - and that change was reflected in the quality of work I was capable of accomplishing.
Avoiding, or at least countering the effects of negative self-talk is actually not that hard. When you catch yourself doing it, you stop and consciously think the opposite (in a non-judgmental, non-self-limiting manner, naturally :^).
Countering the effects of negative talk from friends is difficult, in my experience, because short of making your friends aware of their destructive behavior, which is hard, the only effective alternative is to cultivate new friends that don't exhibit such behavior, which is harder.
Countering the effects of negative talk from family members is hardest, as it is generally not feasible to swap existing family members for new ones. :^) I have been generally lucky in this regard.
* * * How'd I get off on that freewheel? No matter... I think there is a kernel there for more thought and reflection. Plus, even though Ruiz's book can be read quickly, it probably is worth a reread or two (or three, or more) if one is really serious about changing one's approach to life.
A single - or even a handful - of groks on an intellectual level (i.e., "yeah, that makes sense") cannot overcome a lifetime of emotional reinforcement (i.e., "go away, you're bothering me"). It takes a concerted effort and a stream of groks to have any effect.
Cheers...
For some reason, I find it difficult to sleep for more than 3 or 4 hours when I go to sleep that early. I got up at 3 pm or so, puttered around the place, checked my e-mail, etc. and then tried to go to sleep again to put paid to the remnants of whatever it was I had (which amounted to an improved cough, a slightly stuffy nose, and a feeling around the eyeballs that sometimes makes me think they're floating in Tabasco sauce).
I finally dozed off around 8 pm and was roused by my Timex at the appointed time of 10:30pm.
There. Now you know the story of my life for the day, more or less.
Lee called late in the afternoon. Her consulting contract was terminated, which was both expected (she'd only signed on for 6 months, and the tour is up) and unexpected (she'd gotten a lot of kudos on her go-getter attitude). I'd always figured that what was going to happen could be predicted by looking at who was paying for the contract: a bureaucracy or a company with vision. Seeing as how her client was affiliated with Southwestern Bell, I guess the answer to that riddle should have been pretty obvious all along (although "hope springs eternal," and all that).
The implementation of those ideas, however, is hard, hard work. I've been there.
Ruiz's first "agreement" is: Be impeccable with your word. This sounds straightforward enough, even after he explains what he means, which I interpret as: Do not use words against yourself or others.
Vastly oversimplifying, that means you don't engage in self-talk along the lines of "I'll never get this finished," or "I must be stupid," or "I'll never get out of debt," because the mind has a wonderful capacity of taking our thoughts and turning them into reality. The same applies when we hear other people, especially people we love and respect, tell us similar things.
A fellow I worked with, Paul by name, was something of a textbook example of what I mean. We both worked for the same employer, and there would be days when I'd come to work with a smile on my face, a bounce to my step, and a really positive outlook on life. Paul would then come in with his morning coffee and proceed to make me aware of everything that was wrong in our world: our bosses, our subordinates, our client... you name it.
After he'd unloaded this cargo of steaming refuse into my ear, he'd leave and I would sit in my office and stare off into space with an outlook on life that was "completely different" from the one I'd come to work with. Paul is a very effective communicator, and within the space of a few minutes, my positive outlook on life had been changed - and not for the better - and that change was reflected in the quality of work I was capable of accomplishing.
Avoiding, or at least countering the effects of negative self-talk is actually not that hard. When you catch yourself doing it, you stop and consciously think the opposite (in a non-judgmental, non-self-limiting manner, naturally :^).
Countering the effects of negative talk from friends is difficult, in my experience, because short of making your friends aware of their destructive behavior, which is hard, the only effective alternative is to cultivate new friends that don't exhibit such behavior, which is harder.
Countering the effects of negative talk from family members is hardest, as it is generally not feasible to swap existing family members for new ones. :^) I have been generally lucky in this regard.
A single - or even a handful - of groks on an intellectual level (i.e., "yeah, that makes sense") cannot overcome a lifetime of emotional reinforcement (i.e., "go away, you're bothering me"). It takes a concerted effort and a stream of groks to have any effect.
Cheers...
