Something to think about...

[alexpgp]

I ran across the following at Jim Gaston's site devoted to fountain pens. It was offered as an indirect answer to the question: "Should I keep my pen in mint condition?"

A Story To Live By
by Ann Wells (Los Angeles Times)

My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a slip. This is lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. "Jan bought this the first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it.

"She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is the occasion." He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me. "Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion."

I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane returning to California from the Midwestern town where my sister's family lives. I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought about the things that she had done without realizing that they were special.

I'm still thinking about his words, and they've changed my life. I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden.

I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them.I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event-such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia blossom.

I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing. I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my party-going friends'.

"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now. I'm not sure what my sister would have done had she known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I think she would have called family members and a few close friends. She might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past quibbles.

I like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, her favorite food. I'm guessing-I'll never know.

It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good Friends whom I was going to get in touch with - someday. Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write-one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and daughter often enough how much I truly love them.

I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives.

And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Every day, every minute, every breath truly is ... a gift.

Cheers...

Comments

[brenk.livejournal.com]

I really appreciate this philosophy, particularly coming from a time, culture and place where so many things were kept 'for best'when I was younger. I think this has coloured my attitude in many things, i.e. I rebel against it, albeit without doing so particularly consciously. For example, we eat off the same plates whether we're grabbing a sandwich or have friends over for dinner: they're *nice* plates. We have crystal wine glasses, so we use them daily(OK, we have several sizes and no complete sets of 6 or 12 left, but... so what?). Perfume, as the writer says, is there to be WORN (it doesn't keep fresh for long). I could go on forever.

I don't think this is being pompous or showy, either: it's a question of enjoying what you have. Neither is it a sign of being acquisitive or of materialism. If you have something - whether it's pretty underwear or a pen - that you treasure and have bought or been given *because* it's pretty or you like it or it's of sentimental value - it's there to be enjoyed and not to be wrapped away in a drawer.

I suppose (devil's advocate me) that in a way this robs life of '*very* special moments' for enjoying those 'special things' and thus enjoying a major 'this is so special' buzz, but on the other hand - again as the writer says - what if you wait too long for these moments and they never happen? I definitely enjoy the tiny but repeated pleasure of eating a quick sandwich off some fine china, even if this means that I may no longer have a complete set when there are many people at our table. Besides, if they're real friends, they won't be too upset to see one odd, cheap, supermarket plate among the others, right?

Gee, this sounds sanctimonious now... but I liked the article very much. Thanks!

That was great!

[ejl.livejournal.com]

I really liked that article. I'm printing it and will share it with other people who will also appreciate it.

This reminded me of a question my Econ teacher asked us in high school. He asked us why they're always bringing in canteens from the desert with water. Said people would die of thirst in the middle of the desert and when they'd find them their canteens would still have water in them. Well the thing is, nobody wants to drink the very last of it, because then it means it's hopeless.

And I know that using the fountain pen or china to the point that it is useless wouldn't mean anything was hopeless, but the idea of putting things off so much that they're never used is there...

Anyway, thanks for posting that.